I actually think it is better to have kids during residency than once you are in practice because coverage can be a lot harder once you are in practice. Well in residency it was fairly easy to switch call, and sometimes you would have a month or two of outpatient or research rotations which were easy to get home early.
Plus if you take time off in practice your partners may cover for your sick people, but frequently the work just backs up. I don't usually take long vacations because the amount of work that piles up when you get back can be overwhelming. I was just out of town for three days last week and I am looking at a huge stack of charts. When I was a resident they also let us have paternity leave which we could also line up with vacation.
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I didn't realize the 30s don't exist, my bad. Those women having trouble conceiving without IVF in their late 20s are having trouble not because they didn't do it sooner, but because of an underlying problem. Met MS1, just got married and graduated the same week. In all seriousness, medicine is its own language. It is not necessary but the more in common the better.
You will find you are attracted more to people with the same beliefs, attitudes, lifestyle whether it be religion, political views, hobbies, and yes- profession. Yeah, lots of ppl say that it's hard and it can't be done!
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But as we're seeing in this thread, lots of people have done it and are mighty happy about it!! Any advice you have for current medical students dating each other? Couples match, but its going to be hard. We had a couple long-distance couples in our class. Some are still going, others are done for. Start talking about long-term goals now. Every step of the way is going to make big impacts on the future. Do fellowship vs not, private practice vs.
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Have lots of fun together, it helps relieve the stress. Take trips, experience new things, eat new foods, get some animals. Yeah, I've found my other weird half: We're about to start 3rd year and in the midst of studying for Step 1. It's a crazy time but we're sticking together!
I really appreciate your advice, it makes me look forward to all we still have to come! I don't know how they did it. There were at least a few other married couples who didn't couples match and were long distance. I met my wife during my first year of medical school. We married a week prior to graduation.
We went through the couples match her pediatrics, me orthopaedics. I am not going to lie, residency was a bitch. I would NOT recommend beginning a marriage in such a manner. We had the good fortune of a long courtship, but establishing a life with someone should not involve the added stress and time constraints of residency. I am not saying that my marriage is bad. Quite the opposite, actually. I do think that being married to another physician is a lot of extra work.
I do feel that there is an extra understanding when you are married to another physician. They can better understand some of the unique stresses that you undergo. Time constraints are unique to this life grouping, however. Thank you so much! I have plenty of questions! I'll write them up and come back here to post them, or if u'd prefer I'll PM you. Started dating at the end of MS1, moved in together after MS3 while I took an extra year to get a masters degree, married 2 days before medical school graduation.
Sat next to each other at white coat, got together a year and half later, getting married this October. Its been a pretty wild ride! Its really nice to have someone who understands coming home super late because of unexpected duties at work, or early because they were dismissed. The mental toll of hospital work is mutually understood and you have a lot in common from the beginning. I understand some people feel differently, but I wouldn't have it any other way and I am very happy with our relationship! And I agree, it really is nice having someone who understands the stresses of this field.
Congratulations on the future wedding! Reading these happy stories makes me so happy! Met my ex while I was a med student and she was doing post-grad research at the same institution. Fell apart when she got into a school on the opposite coast and cheated on me 2 weeks after she moved there. The pros were that I could help her on her apps, and, being in biomedical science herself, she got a lot of the things I was going through.
The cons were that medicine and science made up the majority of our conversations, which was a bit stifling at times. Oh yeah, clearly lots of things were wrong. Just saying, that was one of the cons for me.
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I'm in a much happier relationship now with someone in a completely different field, and the amount of intellectual stimulation we both get from learning about each other's work is a great counterpoint to how it was before. I don't know how many will end up tying the knot.
I know I'm hopping: Because I'm excited to hear people's stories? Or for the fact that I'm extremely happy in my relationship and aren't afraid to say it? I really hope you fall in love one day and then you'll know what I and the other nice people in this thread feel. And as far as your negative comment, it's ok my friend we all have bad days and feel the need to shit on other people: I hope you have a wonderful day!
Welcome to Reddit,
You got me thinking and as far as Yi can think right now, no one of my friends from med school met their partner there. We all feel it's better that way, though it might only be us, thinking like that retrospectively. I did not actively look for a man who wasn't a doctor, but I'm glad that my husband does something else. He has more flexible working hours, no shifts. I know some doctors who are with doctors, and they always have trouble finding time over the holidays.
One of the two is always on call. On the other hand, I'd say it depends on the person.